Never Eat Soggy Worms

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I knew my teachers taught me this for a very good reason when I was younger. And, I use this all the time when I’m trying to navigate where I’m going. But, I failed at cardinal directions (Yes, I had to Google cardinal) this past Saturday. And so did my brother, my husband and my dad.

We went to the Astros vs. Dodgers game at Minute Maid Park. We got to our seats just in time to see our military and heroes honored on the ninth anniversary of Sept. 11. I ate a lemon chill (Yum!). Dad ate ice cream in a cute little Astros cup. The Dodgers scored three runs in the top of the 4th. The Astros tied it up by the bottom of the 5th. Dad ran out of ice cream. The Astros ran out of time (I blame Dad — we played well every time he took a bite of his ice cream; when he ran out, we never scored again). We left the game.

And headed home. Or so we thought.

You see, Darrell lives near Brookshire, which is a small town WEST of Katy, WEST of Houston.

We thought we were heading WEST.

But then we see a sign for — wait for it. BEAUMONT!

Beaumont is not WEST. Beaumont is EAST!

We were actually only in Pasadena. Don’t think we were crazy enough to actually end up in Beaumont before we realized we were going the wrong direction.

No, the honor of “Farthest Drive Out of the Way” definitely goes to my sister and her blonde pals, who — get this — had gone to Austin from College Station for the weekend. Instead of taking 290 E back home, they took 290 W, but — here’s the clincher — they didn’t realize it until they were in Junction, which is only 141.62 miles (according to MapQuest) WEST of Austin! Crazy girls.

Anyway, we turned around in Pasadena and continued our journey WEST. We enjoyed our extra 40-minute scenic drive. We enjoyed quoting South Park. We enjoyed blaming each other for going the wrong way.

We enjoyed wondering what would have happened IF we had ended up in Louisiana. The consensus — one girl, three guys and a casino. And, one very late night.

373 words.